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We are in Atlanta now! Getting here was quite a trip with Pony, the boys, our SUV twin stroller, and 7 suitcases. The hardest part was getting out of Paris and packing all of the above plus ourselves into two taxis 
And the other hardest part was deconstrucing everything to pass security. Someone actually asked me if I could hold Pony out of his cage, and one baby at the same time. Um, no.
The boys were great the entire time. They enjoyed sleeping on our chests and lap throughout the 9 hour flight that turned into 14 hours because of mechanical delays post boarding. Is there a mile high 5 week old twin breastfeeding award? because I think I deserve it. They were especially thirsty because of the altitude. A very nice man sitting next to Bertram took some cute pictures of all of us during the flight and when he emails them I’ll post them here for all to see.
The weather here is amazing and the boys are doing very well. They had their first doctors appointment this morning and both weighed well over 10 pounds. The doctor was impressed with their growth and general health; they are eating like champs!
The babysitter starts later this week and then I’ll have some time to myself back to keep up with all of my friends and to maintain my mental stability. Looking forward to it…
All dressed up for Fall, asleep after a long walk.
They are both growing so fast! Every night when I lift them up to feed them, I realize how much heavier they both are. They are getting these huge adorable cheeks and their bodies are getting chubby too. They have each grown almost 4 inches in length since birth. Tomorrow they will be one month old! WOW!
I am feeling a lot better now too. I am able to walk around a lot more and sometimes sit down, as long as the chair is very padded Yesterday we all went to the Jeu de Paume to see a Steichen exhibition. It was fantastic and the boys slept in their baby bjorns the whole time. They were very well behaved.
He makes very funny faces.
Eliot’s picture is so funny in his passport. I think he looks like a little gremlin We had fun getting these taken, both the boys had to have their eyes open for the photo and that was almost impossible. It took about an hour to get both of them taken. After that we went to the embassy and got their US birth certificates and they awarded the boys with mini US flags to take with them. Very funny.
Last night was the first time Bertram and I got out together alone since the babies were born. It was great! My Mom is in town for a few weeks to help out with the boys and she stayed at our apartment to watch them for the evening. Grandma time is the best!
It was surreal to think of myself as a Mom and to know that Lucas and Eliot exist in the world now while I was out without them. My life before the babies seemed so clear to me, so familiar, like I was still 16, in Des Moines, driving the maroon Grand Am with the smashed out window. It was strange to realize how much has happened since then, for me to be where I am now: a mother, happily married, sitting in the Palais de Tokyo in Paris, my home of a year and a half.
I feel a definite split between my life before the boys and my life now in the way that they mark the beginning of something that will outlive me. I have really lived for myself alone until now. It will be essential to integrate some of that selfishness back into my life at some point in the near future. It is shocking now to be a mother all of the sudden, but I hope it to normalize a bit for my own good. Otherwise, I’ll be a teary eyed emotional basketcase forever.
I had high hopes for some sleep last night; even just four hours in a row, but the boys weren’t able to do that. They both have digestive issues after eating that keep me awake for hours. Last night the schedule was this: wake at 1:30am to feed Lucas, switch to Eliot at 2, Lucas cries for more, switch back to Lucas, Eliot cries for more, switch back to Eliot, Lucas’ tummy hurts bad, put Eliot back in bed, console Lucas, Eliot’s tummy hurts, switch to console him, Lucas again, then Eliot… Lucas cant take it alone, he has to sleep with me to quiet down. Eliot is asleep, it is 4am. 5:30, Eliot is hungry again… then Lucas at 6, tummy issues return for both… then, it’s 7am and we all sleep for about 1 hour and 45 minutes before feeding resumes and Bertram and I get up for the day. This is about as bad as it gets, some nights are much better and I hope those begin to get more frequent. I’m not sure how many of these nights a person can take before they loose their mind.
Twins are tough this way. I need two extra arms, or better, an extra self.
It is so wonderful to have my Mom here right now. She is such a big help and she loves the boys so much. She has so much patience with them and her experience is really valuable to me right now. I would be a mess without her here. She is very good with the babies and they love her. They love when she sings to them.
Yesterday, Bertram and I took the boys to the botanical garden and it all went pretty smoothly. I am still not confident in my ability to handle them outside of our cozy apartment setup but I know that I cannot exist inside here forever and must learn to leave the house sometimes for my own sanity. I just don’t yet know how to do it with them alone. Breastfeeding twins in public is an art and some people are very skilled at it, I am not one of them yet. I lack finesse. I end up exposed, milk flying, both babies crying. I need to get this down so I am not afraid to leave the house without a team of skilled helpers. Any tips from twin moms out there would be greatly appreciated!
Today the boys have reached two weeks! We will have to find some way to celebrate.
We have begun to establish a schedule. It is still very prone to disturbances but it is nice to have something to count on. Like morning naptime, except this morning Eliot doesnt seem so excited about sleeping. Lucas is out like a light, being the brilliant sleeper that he is. Last night, he woke up twice; once at 3:30 and then again at 7, that’s all. Good work, my 14 day old. Eliot didn’t do much worse, he only woke up one extra time but I think he’s working hard on growing right now. This morning, his hunger has set records.
Around 4pm everyday we usually begin a feeding marathon that lasts until about 7pm or longer. They are both awake and I go back and forth trying to satisfy their endless hunger. This is the moment in the day I must resort to formula feeding after my body has run out. We also have a lot of digestive issues and farting during this time and after that must be comforted.
It is tough being one person from 4 to 7.
I feel like I want to be right there for both babies when they are fussing and sometimes one just has to wait. It kills me everyday.
Yesterday, the intestinally induced drama began and I couldn’t take the split so I pulled both babies onto my chest, tummy down for maximum closeness, and they were soon quieted except for the farting and an occational hard push complete with clenched fists, furrowed brows, and stiff legs. Everything was getting better, but the silence in the apartment was boring us all. The music had stopped long ago and I was out of songs to sing or energy to make them up. So, I started reading them my book aloud. It is called “Operating Instructions: A Journal of my Son’s First Year,” by Anne Lamott. I have read her other books and found this one on amazon before the boys were born. It just got here the other day. They loved just hearing my voice reading it. Lucas kept trying to look up at me and was really into what I was saying. We read about 40 pages aloud and I think they aquired some new vocabulary:) There were a few times when I had to censor the text. When I came across the first very very naughty word, I just couldn’t say it out loud, even though they are only 14 days old. I found that amusing because I didn’t expect to feel so immediately protective over their fragile vocabularies, but I did, and I felt like a Mom.
